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The Hero of Heretuscany

December 18, 2010

The Hero of Heretuscany With the Napier warrior queen’s whip in his hand and her prized red leather boots on his feet, the Hero of Heretuscany, Lawrencus Yulus Amalgamatus, led his conquering Amalgamation Army through the streets of Napierion. The shining black chariot lurched as it clattered across the many potholes and uneven surfaces of [...]

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Brendan Webb: Buzzing With the Blowflies

May 29, 2010

In Mustn’t Grumble, columnist and writer Joe Bennett’s wonderful romp around Britain, he recalls a gang of motorcyclists “buzzing up the lane like flies” and clustering around his borrowed Audi convertible in their black leathers as if it were rotting meat. He returns anxiously to the car only to find the motorcycle gang consists of [...]

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Brendan Webb: Tightening the Noose

April 9, 2010

I spend much of my day under a form of house arrest. I cannot leave the house without being closely watched and followed. I am escorted to the shed and back. At night, unseen eyes monitor my movements from beyond the pool of light from the security lights. I have been stopped and searched while [...]

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Brendan Webb: Entrails

February 15, 2010

The warrior queen stood on the Hill of Bluff and stared down at the bustling port below. Barbarus Arnottus, ruler of Napierion, watched as vessels from the land of the Great Dragon unloaded their cargoes. Sometimes huge ships brought large people from the fabled Americas, to the delight of local merchants. She enjoyed watching the [...]

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Brendan Webb: Pewkus

December 12, 2009

The geologist carefully picked up the deeply tarnished plate. He rubbed some of the dirt off and uncovered a name: Lawrencia. It confirmed his instincts that this pile of rubble and half-completed seating was some form of monument, or temple, to the reign of the regional governor known as Lawrencus Yulus. He guessed that the [...]

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Brendan Webb – Catching a Wave

November 16, 2009

“If the BBC, which is a reliable news outlet, says there is a tsunami when there was not, says there is a tsunami heading to New Zealand when there was not, says it is aimed at Gisborne when it was not, and says there is police alert when there was not, and if people accept [...]

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Brendan Webb – Lawrencus Yulus

September 29, 2009

Provincial Governor Lawrencus Yulus* adjusted the thick leather belt around his broadening girth as he gazed out on the Plain of Heretuscany. He glanced admiringly at his image in the polished coat of arms at the door of his headquarters in Hustings, a city straddling the main road south. Its motto, Urbis Et Ruris Concordia, [...]

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